#016 - TEARISM

If I was a terminally ill child, I would have asked Make a Wish foundation to invent me a band exactly like TEARIST. In fact, I tried bribing one of those little guys to give me their wish. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I did consider torture when he turned down the money. Apparently the methods are less effective on people who are already dying though.
Not ready to give up just yet, I spearheaded a Facebook group demanding the return of Jim'll Fix It, just so I could ask him to create me a band exactly like TEARIST and put them into existence.
When this lobbying failed, I turned to God, and asked him to create me a band, the greatest band that ever lived. "PLEASE LORD", I cried, "LET THERE BE AN EIGHTH DAY, AND ON THAT EIGHTH DAY YOU WILL MAKE A BAND EXACTLY LIKE TEARIST, AND I WILL SEE THAT THEY ARE GOOD."
But God did not answer my plea. Instead my cries were met with my neighbor, banging on the wall and complaining about the noise. 
Anyway, good news! This week, I have discovered that TEARIST do exist! And man alive, it sure would have been worth torturing that terminally ill kid for. Relish in the joy that is them:

P.S After writing this I felt like a terrible human and went off to make-a-wish.org.uk to make a donation. I gave them a tenner, and was feeling better until I saw what a tenner gets you:

"£10 will buy lunch for a child who wishes for a special visit to London"


I have two things to say to Make a Wish Foundation.

1. TESCO MEAL DEALS
2. You owe me £7 change.